When I'm Lonesome
by Gining
Summary: Rikku is living in Besaid. But what happens when she realizes just how lonesome she really is? songfic to seether and amy lee's broken without the song aurikku


**One shot Song fic to Seether feathering Amy Lee's broken. Okay, because of new policy, I have removed the song to this story. Other then that, it stays the same.**

**Disclaimer: I own niether the song or Rikku. However Auron is tied up in my closet and I'm just waiting for Square-enix to pay the ransom to get him back. Then I'll have to money to buy him anyway. **

**A/N: This is an Aurikku. So if you don't like that pairing I suggest you go read something else. Don't flame me because you don't like them together. BTW, I haven't had a chance to play X-2 so we'll just pretend like it never happened.**

Rikku sat on her bed staring at the ceiling. She thought back over her cousin's pilgramige from three years ago when she was just fifteen. They had defeated Yunalesca and Yu Yevon. They were now in the Eternal Calm. Her cousin had lived just like they were hoping she would.

But she had lost something as well. Yuna had loved one of her guardians. But Tidus was just a dream. He had helped fight Yevon and then faded into nothingness. Or so they thought. A year later the fayth had made him real since Yuna had done so much for them. Rikku was happy for her cousin, but something was still missing from her own life. A certain guardian in red.

She sighed before talking out loud to herself. "Auron, why did you have to leave? If you stayed I could have helped you to live." She laughed at the irony of her last statement. "Helped him live? Yeah right." She scoffed. "What am I thinking? He was dead before I even met him."

She reached under her pillow and pulled out a sphere. Making sure no one was going to walk in on her, she played it back.

It was an image from Yuna's pilgramige. It was just after she had met the group. She had pulled out the sphere to record everyone. She didn't want to forget any of them. She was walking around making sure she got them all when she recorded Auron. He stood leaning against a tree watching her. He never said anything. She began to walk backwards to get his whole body when she tripped and fell over a log. Even though she fell, she managed to keep the sphere still enough to see him laughing at her. It wasn't a full laugh, but it was enough that the others knew this was something to remember. Then the picture stopped.

He had helped her up and given her a hi-potion after she fell. It was then she could see over his sunglasses and see the pain hidden in his eye. He looked so tired and worn. It was then she made the decision to help him enjoy life.

She may have lived in Besaid now with Yuna, Tidus, Lulu, and Wakka, but something was missing in her life. They all had eachother while she was left by herself. In the three months of traveling, she had gotten close to the red coated guardian. She didn't think that she loved him or anything, he was just older and wiser. When he said something you payed attention. He intriged her.

All this thinking made her crazy. She folded her legs up under her and held her head in her hands. Maybe if she went to see him. Then she could tell him all of her thoughts. It wasn't like he could really hear her from the farplain, right?

She stood up and packed herself a bag of clothes and supplies. It would take at least a month just to get to Guadosalam. She wrote a note for Yuna telling her that she was going on a trip and that she would be back in a few months. Slinging the bag over her shoulder she left.

Once she got to the Mi'hen Highroad she rented a chocobo using the gil from the fiends she had fought on the way there. She paid the extra it took so she could ride him to the moonflow. It saved her about three days travel time. She enjoyed the shoopuf ride being the first time she had riden. When she had come to the spot that Tidus had found her, she stayed for the night. The memory of that day occupying her dreams. The next day she was up early to travel the last day to her desitination.

In Guadosalam she rented a room for a week. It was nice to be able to relax in a tub for once instead os using water gems or rivers to wash herself off with. She had wanted to go that night to the farplain, but changed her mind. After all her traveling she was just too tired. After the bath, she changed into a long t-shirt and fell asleep as soon as she lay down on the bed.

She woke up in the morning refreshed. She changed clothes wearing her normal orange shirt. She had diched the shorts when she arrived and realized how cold it was in the city. Instead she wore a long almost ankle lenth wrap skirt she had bought in Besaid. It was of a darker orange then her shirt and was embrydered with red and yellow flowers along the bottom.

She walked the short distance to the farplain, but stopped just before going in. "I can do this. I can do this." She repeated to herself. Taking a deep breath, she stepped through the colored divider. What greeted her was far above what she expected. Pyerflies drifted over waterfalls, a meadow of flowers, and a constently full moon. It was more bueatiful then what Brother could explain.

She walked over to the edge of the stone platform and closed her eyes. When she opened them again Auron stood in front of her. "Hi." She began hesitently. "I know you probally can't hear a word I say, but I thought I would come see you anyway. I guess I was just lonely and you were always a good listener."

She laughed softly. "I guess nothings changed, you know. Well anyway, Here you are. You always were dead for as long as I knew you." She tried to joke. She sighed. "There's so much I want to tell you that I can't tell anyone else. I only wish you could speak back to me. I really need your help. You see, I see our friends together and I feel like I am just in the way sometimes. Lulu and Wakka got married shortly after you left." She didn't have the heart to say he was sent. "They now have a little boy named Vidina. (Ok, I lied. I took that from X-2) Yuna married Tidus soon after the fayth sent him back. She's expecting a baby soon too. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she was born by the time I get back.

"I see them so happy together that I wish there was someone there for me as well. I know, you would probally tell me that I'm young. Just wait a few years and someone would come along for me as well." She said lowering her voice to imitate him. "I miss you, Auron. I just wish there was something I could have done for you. I guess, because well. I think, I think I love you, Auron. I better go. Maybe I'll come see you again later. I'll be here all week, might as well, you know." The image faded as she walked out of the farplain.

Little did anyone know, but after that meeting something happened that hasn't happened in over three hundred years. Auron had been able to hear her and all that she said. He felt a small _thump _in his chest. At first he thought it was nothing until it happened again. The fayth of Bahamut appeared in front of him.

"Someone has opened their heart to you. She is lonesome and needs you. She has admitted feelings for you. We grant the request of one mortal every several hundred years to go back to Spira. You have proven yourself worthy of this honor if you so desire."

"Who is this person of whom you speak of?"

"The Al Bhed blond. Her spirit is strong has and reached us fayth. We wish to reward her as well. You will recieve your living body back, but if she rejects you then you will return and never will get this chance to tell her how you feel."

"I am willing to take that risk. What do I have to do?"

The fayth smiled. "It will be painful, but you must remain strong. She will be leaving soon. Catch her before she goes back."

Rikku sat in her room wondering why she said what she did. She figured she wanted someone, anyone to love. Auron was right there and she felt so sad that she had just blurted out that she loved him. But he was gone and so it didn't matter what she said. But did she really mean it?

She stood up from the bed and crossed the room to the mirror. She stared at her reflection. He eyes were red and bloodshot, tear stains ran down her cheeks, and her lips were chapped. What guy in their right mind would want someone that looked like this? She pulled the band that held her hair up and let the blond locks fall down her back. She ran her fingers through it in an attempt to comb out some of the knots.

There was a knock on her door and she turned quickly at the noise. "Just a minute!" She called out to them. She wondered who could be there. Nobody knew she was coming here. Running a wet cloth over her face she tried to wipe away all traces that she was crying.

She slowly opened the door and saw a flash of red. Pulling it open fully she gasped when she saw who stood there.

"Auron! But I thought you were, you were..."

"Dead?" He finished for her.

She nodded dumbly. "I saw you. I mean you were there and now you're here, and I'm so confused."

"May I come in? I can explain it to you then." He asked. She moved aside so he could enter and closed the door behind him. He still wore the tred coat and black pants and shirt, but he looked younger. He looked like he was twenty four again! His hair was no longer gray like she remembered. It was now as black as it was in the spheres she had watched from the pilgramage. He still bore the scar, but secretly Rikku was glad. It was what helped to make him who he was.

He sat on the edge of the bed as she paced in front of him. "Before you say anything, there's one thing I have to know first."

He chuckled to himself as he watched her antics but said nothing, just waited for her to speak. "Can you, I mean, is it possible to hear what people say when you're in the farplain?" She stopped pacing and faced him waiting for the answer.

"Sometimes." Was his cryptic answer.

"Could you hear me then?" She chewed on her index finger hoping that her secret was still safe.

"Only what you wanted me to hear." He stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You know, I tried to push you away by acting cold and distant. But you were persistant. You tried to break into the shell I had created. I knew what had to happen, and even after you found out you were even more determained to make me happy. Rikku, thank you." He leaned foward and kissed her.

Her eyes opened wide before she realized what was happening. His lips were soft and smooth campared to her dry and chapped. She opened her mouth slightly to allow him entrance and a moan from the back of her throat snuck out before she could stop it. When he pulled away, she missed the warmth immedently. She threw himself into his arms and let him hold her close.

"E muja oui, Auron." She wispered.

"I know. I love you too, Rikku."

She smiled. She know she wouldn't be lonesome anymore. Now she couldn't wait to go back home and tell Yuna what happened.

_**Ok, there you go. I know it probally sucked, but hey I tried. Now be a dear and review for me.**_


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